If there's another thing I hate, it's Facebook. While social networking is supposed to bring us together it has a great potential to divide us -- especially couples.
I won't get into the many ways it can do this, instead, I'll stick to what I believe are the two most common -- unnecessary jealousy and digital persuassion.
The fact that a couple is able to see what one another is doing at all times through status updates, photos and an array of other notifiers can almost certainly create unnecessary jealousy.
I don't care what anyone says, no one has 500 friends, but Facebook lets us befriend as many people as we want -- most of which we don't even really know, or remember adding. The ability to comment and tag to status or photo that is visible to ones significant other may raise questions. And when these less than known friends begin weighing in a little too much, one may begin to question exactly what may be going on.
You probably think that I'm being a little paranoid, but how many times have you caught yourself wondering, "who is that person," or "what does that comment mean," on your significant others' Facebook page. Yes, yes -- what about trust? I know you're thinking that. If you trust your partner then there isn't a need to worry. You may trust your partner, but can you afford to trust one their 500 friends?
It becomes even more pertinent that you ask yourself this question considering there is an application that allows you to virtually stalk your crush. When their relationship status once again changes to single, someone may be ready to pounce.
Yet, unnecessary jealousy isn't always something that spawns from nothing. When you are newly involved with someone and Facebook friends, it's not so much the people who are current friends that cause jealousy -- it's the new friends that one acquires.
In the days before Facebook you would think twice before giving out your name and number to a guy/girl you just met, especially one that you just striked up a conversation with at a bar. You may worry about what would happen if they called you all the time and you couldn't get rid of them. Or perhaps, what if they are some crazy stalker. Yet today, we have no problem giving someone our name, e-mail address and the ability to look us up online; to see our photos, likes, dislikes, where we're going and what we're doing every second of the day.
Is it just me, or does something seem backwards there?
A guy today is more likely to ask a girl for her Facebook than her phone number -- and for good reason. You can snoop a bit before sending a message; check out her relationship status; and of course the ability to send private messages that if discovered, may be damaging to a relationship.
Digital persuassion isn't new, but before Facebook it was much more difficult to learn a lot about someone in a short time. Not to mention the safety of a computer to hide behind since many people won't take the risk to make a move in person. While Facebook offers many security features and the option to remove users, many people don't employ them to the degree that they should. And while many of us like to think we're a good judge of character -- we can all be easily fooled.
Several years ago an ex of mine made several new friends in one of her classes and of course, as everyone does, they became Facebook friends. One of these "friends" was a guy who would continuously comment on items that caught my eye. While we were open about our relationship and didn't hide things from one another in that respect, the comments became messages. While she told him she wasn't interested, I didn't find out about the messages until later on. This wasn't the reason we broke up, but it caused a lot of tension in the relationship -- mainly because I wanted to hurt the guy that wouldn't take a hint. But also because the option to defriend him was there, but she never did.
If you want to keep your relationship in one piece, be selective when it comes to your Facebook account. Or better yet, don't have one at all. If you want to risk your relationship because of a click of a button, go ahead, but it seems silly that a bunch of bits and bytes may end everything you've worked for.
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