Reply: Chivalry or Where Did All Our Heros Go?

Not going lie. That last blog post (Chivalry or Where Did All Our Heroes Go) by @whatshesaidgoes made me a little mad.

So let me break some news to you all -- chivalry isn't dead. It's just selective.

And frankly, we're getting tired of trying to be "chivalrous" to every girl we meet. You want a guy to take the lead one moment, but then when the guy continues to do it you scream, "You're smothering me" and "I'm too independent for this shit."

In her post she makes some valid points that I can agree with:

- A guy should pay for the first date. It may sound old fashioned but it's true. The only time a guy shouldn't be paying is when it's no longer considered a date. It has nothing to do with "being a guy", but the guy should always pay. Even in my relationships, months or years in, I always still paid for everything. Not because I had to, but because I wanted to.

- Being attentive. This doesn't apply just to guys. If we're expected to take the lead then at least make it somewhat easier for us. Is it that hard to ask us a couple of questions so we're not racking our brains in between dead silence? While we may be interested in hearing all about you, we do need some time to just stop and think.

One thing in her post that I can't agree with is:

- The guy has to ask the girl out. Many guys don't do well with hints. If you want to go out with us, ask us. If we say no, so what. There are many times that I have to sit and listen to @whatshesaidgoes complain how a guy hasn't asked her out yet. And my answer is always the same: Ask him out. Otherwise ladies, suck it up and sit home with your cat on a Saturday night.


And now to the parts of her post that really struck a cord. @whatshesaidgoes always likes to leave context out of her posts when it relates to me.

For example she says: @isaiditnowdeal doesn't see the point in telling a girl she looks nice. He always says that if he's with a girl, he obviously thinks  she looks nice, so why is there a need to say it all the time.

 There is some truth to her claim. I don't always tell a girl that she looks nice. It's not that I don't think they look nice, most times I do. I just don't feel that it always needs to be said. The only reason that @whatshesaidgoes likes to hear it all the time is because she wants to feel wanted. As we indicated in other posts, she is needy. I want a girl to feel wanted, but I'd rather show her than have to tell her all the time. The thing is, I treat them the way I want to be treated. You can tell me I look nice all the time, but talk is cheap - show me.

It's like the word love. I use that word sparingly. For those that I have actually loved, I didn't run around and smother them with the word. It's a word that often gets thrown around and I think, has lost its meaning for most. But that is a topic for a future post.


There are many more men out there who have that chivalrous/romantic side to them than most women know. But many want it up front. You just never give most of us a chance to get that far to show you.

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